Words Matter More Than We Think

Words Matter more than we think

We’ve all been in those discussions and meetings where the tension is thick, and you know your next sentence could either calm the storm or fuel the fire.

In today’s world, what we say, how we say it, and the tone we use can carry more weight than we realize. One poorly chosen word, one sharp tone, or one careless comment can ripple far beyond the moment, impacting someone’s career or personal integrity.

Leveling up our communication skills is important for any area of our lives…our personal discussions with family and friends, our work life or corporate life, and also speaking at engagements where we are potentially sharing our views. 

How many times have you said something, and someone took what you said totally out of context…and you are standing there thinking…you didn’t say what they interpreted. And then you find yourself backpedaling and fumbling with words to be better understood. It’s frustrating and makes you look and feel less confident.

Words hold currency. And when you think about what you say and equate words to money, you become clearer and more focused on the words you choose. 

With our current work environment and with many layoffs and restructuring activities that are happening at our best companies, it’s more important than ever to become a great communicator for job retention and career growth. Taking the time to learn tactics to be concise and to the point, learning to negotiate in a firm yet calm manner, and learning how to deal with those individuals and situations where conflict exists is important. It makes you credible, confident, and someone most would like to have on their team.

Why do Your Words, Tone, and Approach Matter?

• Words shape perception. Research published in the Journal of Language and Social Psychology shows that people form impressions of credibility, warmth, and competence within seconds based on language choice (Giles & Powesland, 2013). Check out my last video on the importance of first impressions where someone can make a first impression within 1/10^th of a second…and it’s tough to change their perception.

• Tone can outweigh meaning. In fact, Dr. Albert Mehrabian’s classic communication study found that 38% of how people interpret a message comes from tone of voice—while only 7% comes from the actual words. That means how you say something often matters more than what you say.

• Conflict escalates quickly. A CPP Global Human Capital Report found that 85% of employees experience conflict at work, and 25% admit to avoiding it altogether. Left unchecked, these conflicts cost U.S. businesses over $300 billion a year in stress, turnover, and lost productivity.

There’s also High Stakes of Today’s Environment

Now layer this on top of today’s cultural climate.

We live in an era where conversations about politics, identity, race, and global events can be landmines. Words that might feel harmless to one person can be triggering, or even dangerous, to another.

Missteps don’t just bruise feelings; they can:

• Put careers at risk (one viral soundbite can tank reputations).

• Damage personal integrity (trust is hard to rebuild once broken).

• In extreme cases, even put lives in danger, especially when rhetoric fuels hostility or violence.

As psychologist Daniel Goleman (author of Emotional Intelligence) reminds us: “Self-regulation and empathy are no longer optional, they’re leadership essentials.”

What You Can Do

1. Pause Before You Speak. Slow down and ask yourself: “How might this land on someone else?”

2. Use words that are impactful and tell your story. Take time to think through every word you use and saying less is actually more. Be concise.

3. Watch Your Tone. If your words are neutral but your delivery is sharp, people will feel the sting more than the message.

4. Approach Conflict Strategically. Instead of reacting, aim for curiosity: “Help me understand your perspective.” This lowers defenses and opens space for dialogue.

5. Respect Triggers. You may not know what experiences others carry, or what they may be going through in the moment, so tread carefully on sensitive topics.

Final Thoughts

In a world this complex, communication isn’t just about clarity, it’s about responsibility for ourselves and controlling what we can. We can’t be afraid to communicate and it’s important that we don’t avoid important and sometimes difficult conversations we may need to have. However, every word, every tone, and every approach matters more than ever. When we choose them wisely, we get our message across, we look confident, and we gain respect. 

 Visit my website for coaching and upcoming courses! https://www.jrsrmanagement.com/

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Three things to ALWAYS remember:

Be CONFIDENT!

Be EMPATHETIC!

AND ALWAYS HAVE PASSION!!!!