What’s Keeping You from Building Real Confidence? It's not what YOU Think!

Let’s talk about confidence…

Not the “fake it ‘til you make it” variety or the kind you try to channel before giving a presentation by power-posing in a bathroom stall.

We’re talking about that deep-in-your-bones belief that you’ve got what it takes—even when things are hard.

So… why is it so hard to build?

Here’s what might be tripping you up…and how to flip the script:

1. You Think You Have to Feel Confident First (But You Don’t)

Confidence isn't a prerequisite for action…it’s a result of action.

In a study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, researchers found that taking action—even before feeling ready—builds self-trust and self-efficacy (Bandura, 1997). In other words: Confidence grows when you do the thing scared.

TRY THIS: Instead of waiting to “feel ready,” aim to feel willing. Willing to try, willing to mess up, willing to learn.

 2. You’re Comparing Your Behind-the-Scenes to Everyone Else’s Highlight Reel

Thanks to social media, it's way too easy to assume everyone else is crushing it.

But get this… A 2022 study by the American Psychological Association found that up to 60% of people experience Impostor Syndrome—even high achievers and seasoned professionals.

TRY THIS: Instead of comparison, use curiosity. Ask: What can I learn from them? Instead of Why am I not like them?

 3. You Think Confidence Means Never Doubting Yourself

Real confidence includes self-doubt…it just doesn’t let it drive the car.

Self-doubt is part of human experience. What matters is how you respond. According to Harvard Business Review, the most confident leaders are the ones who acknowledge their insecurities but still act in alignment with their values.

TRY THIS: Reframe doubt as a signal—not a stop sign. It might mean you’re stretching, growing, or doing something that matters.

4. You’re Not Giving Yourself Credit

How often do you finish something and immediately move on to the next thing without celebrating what you just pulled off?

Neuroscience shows that celebrating small wins boosts dopamine, which strengthens motivation and self-belief (Achor, The Happiness Advantage, 2010).

TRY THIS: Keep a “confidence file.” Screenshot kind feedback, jot down wins, or record voice notes to future you. You'll be surprised how quickly it adds up.

Bottom Line?

Real confidence isn’t loud, perfect, or instantaneous. It’s quiet, consistent, and built one courageous choice at a time.

So, the next time you feel like you’re falling short, ask yourself:
Am I expecting to feel confident before I act confident?

Because the truth is…your confidence is already in you.
It’s just waiting for you to show up and give it some reps.

Let’s make it practical:
What’s one bold, small, messy action you can take this week to build your confidence?

Need help creating the right system for your goals? Visit my website to learn more. https://www.jrsrmanagement.com/

 Grab my free eBook, Discipline Made Simple: 5 Proven Steps to Transform Your Life in the Next 30 Days— https://www.jrsrmanagement.com/signup-f3ab2053-5e66-4f03-8c95-a0e65717abec

Three things to ALWAYS remember:

Be CONFIDENT!

Be EMPATHETIC!

AND ALWAYS HAVE PASSION!!!!