How to Spot an Inauthentic Person Before You Spill Your Secrets or Sign That Contract

Let me set the scene…

You’re at a networking event (or brunch with a new friend, or maybe even sitting across from a client).

They’re charming.

Eye contact on point.

Their stories? Flawless. Almost too flawless.

You leave thinking, “Wow, they really get me…”

Fast forward a few weeks. The vibe shifts. Promises don’t line up with actions. Empathy seems… performed. You start second-guessing your gut.

Congratulations. You might’ve just danced with an inauthentic person.

Before you go full Sherlock Holmes on your contacts list, let’s break down the classic signs of inauthenticity, and the subtle science behind them.

 1. They Mirror You Too Perfectly

Ever met someone who loves everything you love? Same favorite band, same college experience, same enneagram type? That could be genuine connection OR it could be strategic mirroring.

According to a 2018 study in Personality and Individual Differences, excessive mirroring, especially early in relationships, is a sign of impression management rather than authenticity. It’s like someone playing human Mad Libs with your personality.

Red flag: When it starts feeling less like bonding and more like you’re talking to your own reflection…run.

 2. Their Words and Actions Don’t Match

They talk empathy, but ghost you when you’re down. They say they value integrity, but fudge numbers “just this once.” These inconsistencies matter.

Psychologist Dr. Tasha Eurich (author of Insight) notes that truly self-aware and authentic people align their internal values with external behavior. When someone says one thing but lives another, that’s cognitive dissonance…not charisma.

Stat to know: Only 10–15% of people are actually self-aware, despite 95% believing they are. (Eurich, HBR, 2018) Let that one sink in!

 3. They’re Always On

You know that person who’s always “on”…curated responses, polished reactions, never a hair out of place (even emotionally)? That’s not just good branding…it might be overcompensation.

Inauthentic people often fear vulnerability, so they perform. But here's the twist: authenticity isn’t just about being real…it’s about being consistent when no one’s watching.

Reminder: Even Beyoncé has off days. If someone never lets the mask slip, the mask might be all there is!

 4. Conversations Feel… Transactional

If every chat feels like a pitch deck, or you leave drained instead of energized, you might be dealing with a connection that’s more strategy than sincerity.

Authentic relationships are reciprocal. Inauthentic ones? Conditional.

Fun fact: In a 2021 study published in Frontiers in Psychology, researchers found that authentic individuals foster deeper emotional connections and are perceived as more trustworthy, even in professional settings.

Translation…People can smell fake. And it’s not a good perfume.

 5. They Struggle with Accountability

When something goes sideways, do they:

• A) Own it?

• B) Blame Mercury in retrograde?

• C) Blame you?

Authentic people can say, “Yep, that one’s on me.” Inauthentic ones deflect, gaslight, or ghost.

Watch out for the blame shuffle. It’s the cha-cha of character dodgers.

So, What Do You Do?

You don’t have to call them out (unless you want to).

Protect your peace.

Limit your vulnerability.

Test consistency over time.

And trust your gut—your intuition is data, too.

Let’s recap the 5 Signs You’re Dealing with an Inauthentic Person

1. They mirror you like it’s a sport.

2. Their words and actions live on different planets.

3. They’re always “on” (and never real).

4. Conversations feel like transactions.

5. They ghost accountability like it’s haunted.

Authenticity isn’t perfection. It’s humanity. So, surround yourself with humans…not holograms.

Grab my free eBook, Discipline Made Simple: 5 Proven Steps to Transform Your Life in the Next 30 Days— https://www.jrsrmanagement.com/signup-f3ab2053-5e66-4f03-8c95-a0e65717abec

 Three things to ALWAYS remember:

Be CONFIDENT!

Be EMPATHETIC!

AND ALWAYS HAVE PASSION!!!!