Embracing the Power of Introversion

Embracing the Power of Introversion

 Welcome Peak Performance seekers to our AI for PI (Amplifying Insights for Performance Improvement) Newsletter!

Our goal is to provide you with the latest knowledge, strategies, and tools to help you achieve peak performance in your personal and professional life!

In a world that often celebrates extroversion, it's important to recognize and appreciate the power that introverts bring to the table.

Whether you identify as an introvert yourself or know someone who does, this week’s newsletter aims to shed light on the valuable qualities that introverts possess and how these traits can contribute to personal and professional success while also providing insights on ways of combatting the perceived negative qualities that may plague those of you that classify as this social type.

As I revealed in my last newsletter, I’m not a fan of labels, however if I were to describe myself in the category of social interaction, hands down, I would fall into the introvert category. 

Although there are positives and negatives in everything including the way we socially interact, often times, introverts are misunderstood because of our silent and reclusive nature. 

 The Quiet Power of Introversion

 Here are 5 areas introverts thrive independently:

 1. Deep Thinking and Reflection

Introverts are known for their ability to think deeply and reflect thoroughly. This tendency to analyze and consider different perspectives allows introverts to make well-informed decisions and come up with creative solutions to complex problems. By taking the time to reflect, introverts often gain a deeper understanding of themselves and the world around them.

 2. Strong Listening Skills

One of the hallmark traits of introverts is their exceptional listening skills. Introverts tend to be attentive and empathetic listeners, making them great leaders, friends, partners, and colleagues. Their ability to listen actively and understand others’ perspectives fosters strong, meaningful relationships and effective communication.   

 3. Thoughtful Communication

While introverts may not be the most outspoken in different settings, they excel in thoughtful communication. Introverts often think before they speak, ensuring that their contributions are meaningful and well-considered. This calculated approach to communication can lead to more impactful and persuasive interactions.

 4. Focus and Concentration

Introverts often thrive in environments where they can focus deeply on their work without constant interruptions. Their ability to concentrate for extended periods allows them to produce high-quality work and excel in tasks that require attention to detail. This focus can lead to significant achievements and a high level of expertise in their chosen fields.

 5. Independence and Self-Motivation

Introverts are typically comfortable working independently and are often highly self-motivated. They do not rely on external validation to stay motivated, making them resilient and determined in pursuing their goals. This independence is a valuable asset in both personal projects and professional endeavors.

 While I appreciate the strengths that introversion brings, I also know there are areas I need to work on that negatively impact my peak performance journey.  For my fellow introverts, I’m sure you’re aware of those areas that cause you stress.

One of those areas for many introverts including myself is what experts in the mental health arena call social anxiety. 

I’ve struggled with this. However, in the past few years, I have found positive ways to overcome this challenge rather than letting it hold me back. For those of you who know me personally, you may be surprised because I act bubbly and very social.  It is something I’ve had to work on for many years and a lot of social interaction still is very draining to me at times.

As I’ve researched more information on this personality trait, I’m finding myself in good company as many other high functioning individuals, especially entrepreneurs, are introverts.

You may be an extrovert where you’re comfortable and thriving being around a lot of people.  If you’re an introvert, you are fine being by yourself and thrive being alone.  Most importantly an introvert recharges when they are by themselves in solitude and looks forward to their own time. Whenever I’m in a social setting, that evening or the next day, I personally recharge in solitude by reading, writing, journaling, walking, sitting in silence, or in spending time with my immediate family.  I’ve often been accused of not liking certain people due to my quiet and calculated nature. 

Saying all of that, I know it will sound crazy but I’m more comfortable speaking in front of a large group of people or large audiences rather than one on one conversations or attending parties where I need to mingle and have small talk conversations. 

I’m not stressed being around people…it is overwhelming sometimes and I recognize that It’s not optimal.   I knew I needed to learn ways to conquer this in a way where I wasn’t continuing to force myself to go to events and make myself miserable, so it was time to turn this around.

No, it wasn’t with counseling

No, it wasn’t through some steps from a guru

I was sitting in the quiet one day trying to figure out how to beat this feeling and started exploring content to see what others have to say about this. 

I must give credit to content from Michael McLean who spoke about this topic based on what he learned from Jordan Peterson on how to beat this.

I decided to give it a shot.  What did I have to lose?  I was done with allowing anxiety to make me dread upcoming events, taking over my life.  Especially, since my spouse is a total extrovert and gets ticked off that I would rather be home than attending many of the social events we are invited to with his family or as business owners.

I decided I was going to be in control of my emotions and feelings and wasn’t going to let any of this stuff negatively affect me.  I decided to take control of the complete situation and was not going to allow this anxiety to be part of my life and get the best of me. 

The key word here is “DECIDED”!

 In attending social events, there’s always that feeling that I’mgoing to be in a situation where I have to talk to people one on one and often times with people that I normally have nothing in common with.  Instead of being something that I dread, or don’t look forward to, I wanted to turn this completely around. 

What did I learn? 

1. I learned that people who are depressed are suffering because they are living in the past and those who have anxiety are living in the future.  When a person has peace of mind, they are living in the present…living in today only.  Living in the now!  The only reason I’m feeling anxiety is because I’m thinking too much about the future. 

2. I learned that I needed to live in the present, live in the moment, and get my mind out of living in the future.  If I’m anxious about an upcoming event, I need to put that event aside and tell myself “it’s not here today”. I’m not living in the present and my head is in the wrong place. 

 I’ll admit that when I receive invitations to anything…I already feel the dread that I must attend this event.  I’m anxious about something that was going to happen weeks from now.  I got in my head too much and wasn’t present.  As soon as I recognized that I’m creating anxiety today on something that is not here yet, everything started to change for me. 

3. I learned that to feel this anxiety, I’m focusing too much on myself and my own personal feelings.  “I’m going to be uncomfortable”, “I’m going to be stressed” ….me, me, me, me, me.  It’s all about me!  It comes from a place of being selfish and that had to change.  This one hit me hard and changed everything for me.  I don’t like selfish people and don’t want to be considered one.  It’s not who I feel I am deep down however something I needed to admit…this is selfish on me. 

 How do I get out of this?  I had to decide that when I go to social functions, I need to be curious, not judgmental.  When meeting new people, I need to put judgement aside.  Rather than being anxious and thinking about how to get out of going, or how long do I have to stay to do my duty, I had to tell myself I need to control what I can control…and that was me.  I’m not going to rob myself of these great experiences with friends and family.  I need to be mentally present, turn the conversations into asking questions of others rather than being the one figuring out what to share, and become interested in other people. 

 I need to be more interested than interesting. 

 You can learn from every single person you meet…strangers or not.  Instead of going to the event and focusing on yourself,

· Focus on making other people feel important. 

· Focus on what other people are up to. 

· Focus on someone other than yourself. 

In result, all the tension, anxiety and worry will go away.  It takes A LOT of mental preparedness on my part and a commitment to doing the work.  I need to control what I can control and take personal care before going so I’m showing up at my very best.  I know it will be uncomfortable, but I don’t avoid it anymore.  The more uncomfortable the better because that’s the only way I’m going to get out of this mess in my head and the only way I’m going to grow.  It’s like any other goal in life.  If you are comfortable, you are not growing. 

 4.  I need to be a leader and introduce myself.  Successful people introduce themselves and successful people ask questions of others.  In other words, they are curious not judgmental.  I’m going to be the one asking questions of people at these engagements.  I’m going to be genuinely curious.   

 Anyone can tear someone else down or be gossipy…”did you see so and so and what they did”...instead…ask, what can I learn from that person?  Even if it’s something of what not to do.  I can learn what to do and in some cases what not to do.  Either way, I’m learning. 

 This is where listening skills are most important.

 Listening to hear to actually understand.  Our listening skills in 2024 are garbage.  Everyone is focused on themselves…me, me, me, me, me.  Most people want to talk about themselves, and  listen to respond and often times talk over someone.  They don’t listen to truly be present and to hear the other person to understand. 

 I decided that I’m going to change the narrative. 

I’m going to events to learn things.  I’m going to act like a detective to find out about people.  Be genuinely interested in what they have to say.  Instead of being anxious, sitting in the back of the room or huddling with my hubby, I’m going to mingle and talk to people about their favorite topic which is themselves.

 I wasn’t sure how it was all going to work out at first however I’ve tried these techniques and they worked like a charm. 

 I don’t drink alcohol so I can focus on being present and mentally focused. 

 I disciplined myself to listen to hear and to understand. 

 I’m conscious to not ask questions so I can quickly reply to people. 

 When I discipline myself and put myself in the moment, all of the stress and anxiety disappears.  I’m finding that the more I practice like everything else, the better I get.  It doesn’t remove the introvert nature out of my blood and I’m not trying to be something I’m not however it does allow for me to genuinely enjoy moments more and not get caught in my head. 

 In today’s world, there are a lot of social interactions I need to be a part of, and I want to get to a place where I’m excited not dreading an event.  I now know how to manage this.  I now know how to handle this.  I’m now in complete control of my mental state, my mental toughness.  It can be a powerful experience. 

 I hope this is helpful if you are a fellow introvert or social situations bother you. 

 As I’ve learned, anxiety and depression are a selfish person’s disease, and the only way out is to stop being consumed by yourself. 

 Do the exact opposite and focus on other people, be genuine and curious and ask people questions. 

 Listen to understand and you’ll be fascinated with what happens. 

 There’s no magic bullet pill…it takes effort.

 Practical Tip: If you’re an introvert, reflect on how your introverted qualities have positively impacted your life and work. Write down three strengths you possess as an introvert and consider how you can leverage these strengths to achieve your goals.

Three things to ALWAYS remember:

Be CONFIDENT!

Be EMPATHETIC!

AND ALWAYS HAVE PASSION!!!!